I’m only a heart breaker , that’s me !

Assalamualaikum ..

Okay this time I want to share you my story .. well, as you know this is MY BLOG , so surely I’m going to share my story .. well , I’ve meet a boy .. his name ? ZANA .. haha .. he was born on 2^nd of june 1995 .. he always be there when I need help .. he never said “can’t” even in lacking of time .. alright .. I know him through my friend , my roommate when I was first year of diploma .. at the beginning , I’m not sure how come I get along with this guy .. and on the same semester I know him MSH .. but I’m pretty sure I’m closer with ZANA instead of MSH .. they were nice guys .. but, first let me told you who is ZANA in my life .. he’s apart of my life . we’ve been in relationship for two weeks in Semester 2 .. he bring me to ALLAH , he introduce me to AL QURAN , he’s the one who being encourage to love in islam .. this doesn’t mean I’m not muslim .. I’m just a normal person who still seeking for my identity .. well , ZANA is the one who open a new chapter in my life .. he’s my reference when I have no idea about something .. he explain to me detail about it and make me feel so close to HIM through his story .. well , he’s good in story telling .. sometimes I have misunderstanding about something , he will be there to make me crystal clear about it .. and I’m very comfortable to share my secret .. I’ve been introduce to his family and my family also know who he is .. but , after two weeks , i decided to break up with him .. why ? it’s suck life to have someone who is really nice but actually it’s not the right way .. I’ve been around by uneasy feeling .. so I choose to break .. after that , we’ve been a good friend .. as usual , he’s still the first place in my mind when I need any help .. he’s still there to guide me to be better than before .. he’s been born in a wealthy family (I thought) .. actually , I never know who is he , his background .. none of my business .. but when I get close with any man , he’ll get jealous and starting on that he’ll watch after my move .. no matter where I go , he always know .. and no matter the person I meet or start to close , he’ll know .. and the more I know ZANA , he’s starting to control over everything about my life .. hey ! I’m not your wife .. actually when I begin to know him , I’ve got a dream that we’ll be in relationship and he’s start to change his attitude .. I can’t tell you how .. but, I’ve got a feeling he will be turn to someone else .. he’s still him but a few things might be change because of he’s so scared of loosing me , he’s scared I’m going to be fall in love with someone else and many more .. well , this is not good .. because I’m not his wife .. and yes , that’s the reason why I’ve put an end .. alright .. no matter what ever we’ve been lead together , or no matter how much time we’ve spend together , you’ll always a good guy I’ve ever known .. don’t change to be obsess , it’s kind of scared ! well , I will miss you ( I know) , surely not a good thing .. I’m wishing for the best for you .. I pray to ALLAH to save you , grant you happiness , good end , a good company (one day) , and all the best for you .. I might not be around anymore .. I’m just a apart of your story not apart of your life .. different meaning okay ..

Well , MSH .. he’s a cute boy .. he’s a “hambar” man .. I don’t know how I’ve get along with this guy but he’s pretty cute .. haha .. alright .. there is a story where he’s be my side when I’m crying .. he don’t talk anything but he’s doing like nothing happen and doing his work in front of me eventhough I was crying in front of him ! (urgh ! how come you be blind) okay .. he’s always make me enjoy through his word .. he’s kind of funny and “sweet talker” , you know what I mean .. haha .. but I like to be his friend .. he makes me smile .. I’m not having too much story of him .. he’s so no feeling .. haha .. I don’t know how I can get this feeling for him .. well, I used to share my story with him .. maybe , I feel so comfortable .. just that .. like might be no love .. ouh , I just remember about a semester without him .. why ? I don’t know what has happen to us .. he begin to stop talking with me .. pretend I’m invisible .. it’s kind of hurt here .. but after a semester he begin to talk with me .. well , I’m so glad on that day .. I’ve thought he will never talk .. there is one day I feel so much of missing him .. well , after I’d my prayer at the dawn .. suddenly I start to remember him .. and suddenly I talk to my heart “if only I can see you today in the way to class” .. and ALLAH replied my prayer .. I’d seen him early in the morning ! I’m so glad that day .. uhhh .. but I’m not greeting him at all .. haha .. 
to be continue.....